"And I saw his little paws trying to climb out of the toilet..."

Hey Guys!

Sorry these two blogs are in one week, but I had saved the previous one on my computer and didn't get a chance to get to an internet cafe until this week. The life of a busy student, I guess. Well, to quickly update, the cute boy was not at the club meeting this week, so I didn't get to talk to him. This week we don't have Russian-American club because on Thursday we are going on a cruise of the Volga river for a week, stopping at a bunch of historical cities along the way. It's going to be pretty crazy, living on a boat for a week in the freezing October weather, with a bunch of American students, Jon Smith, our geography teacher, and a bunch of Russian students. I imagine it's going to be a lot like the booze cruise on Lake Wallenpaupack from the wonderful TV show, The Office, with Jon Smith playing the part of Michael Scott. I will definitely take stellar notes so I can update you all when I get back. Ahoy!

So last Sunday I met up with my new tutor. I'm pretty sure her name is Alisa, but she speaks really fast, so I can't be sure. She is from Russian-American club. She brought her boyfriend, Ivan, with her. Usually I am really anti-PDA, but they were so cute together, picking on each other or holding hands or him playing with her hair. Ivan is the tutor of Kyle, of my classmates who basically speaks perfect Russian, so I'm sure they thought I was a moron, but most of the people I've encountered in Moscow probably think that, so it's all good. My tutor took me around Red Square and showed me all the fountains they have with statues of fairytale characters in them. Oh, I also should mention that she can only speak Russian to me, or sometimes an english word or two if I really don't understand something. She and Ivan don't really know English that well, so we are both kind of learning from each other. Anyway, she explained to me in Russian what each of the statues represented, so I learned a lot about Russian fairy tales. Then, and I don't remember how we got on the subject, but I as trying to explain that something was tacky, and she didn't know what tacky ment, and of course it's not in the dictionary, as it's slang, so we spent a good 5 minutes figuring out it's eqiuvalent in Russian (bezvakysnee, literally "tasteless"). She was really excited to learn the word tacky and used it a couple of times that day. She was also trying to explain they Russian word for cotton to me, but kept saying "in english, it is Katone (putting the emphasis on the second syllable)." And I couldn't understand her until she finally pulled out her dictionary and showed me. And then I said, "Ohhhhh, COT-en." We laughed about that for a while. While this was all going on, her boyfriend, Ivan, stood in line to get us tickets to go inside the Kremlin. As we walked around the Kremlin, both of them explained various aspects of it to me, with Ivan telling me historical facts and Alisa explaining new words to me. It was so great. I got to see a ton of relics from the middle ages and about 4 old Russian-Orthodox churches, with icons painted all over the walls. In the churches were tombs of czars, with Ivan explaining who each of them were. Thank god I took two semesters of Russian History at Georgetown. After the churches, we walked back into Red Square and I told them I'd never been into St. Basil's cathedral, so we went in there. It's more of a museum/tourist trap now than a church, but it was still pretty cool. The whole time we were navigating these crazy cobblestones and old, windy stone stairs, my tutor was wearing stilletto heels. Like all Russian women, she's a champ. When we left St. Basil's, Ivan was talking about the Russian Nouveau-Riche, and he did this weird hand gesture with both his hands, kind of like the "rock out" hand symbol, but with hand in front of you and your palm facing the ground. He said it's what people do when they see them to make fun of them, because the fingers that are sticking out, the index finger and pinkie, are where the men wear their flashy rings, so the gesture is acting like "oh look at me, have a better look at my rings (wealth)." He also told me the slang term for these people, but of course I forgot it. Then my tutors invited me to a concert they were going to that night, an organ music concert in a Catholic church. They seemed like they really wanted me to come, so I agreed. Of course, we couldn't figure out where this church was, so we spent 2 hours walking around the Georgian part of town, with Ivan asking strangers for directions. Ivan told me that in Russia, everyone will give you directions regardless of whether they actually know where the place is, so if someone starts out their answer with an "um" or doesn't give specifics, just say thank you and move on to another person. We were also getting really hungry as we'd been hanging out since 2:00 and it was now 6:00, but we couldnt find anywhere good for dinner. We finally made it to the church with 20 minutes to spare and met up with Alisa's friend, Sascha (a girl, which is unfortunate because I heard the name and thought we were going to meet up with a boy. Gender-neutral nicknames. Gotta love them.) We were starving at this point, so Ivan ran to the nearest grocery store and bought chocolate chip muffins and grapefruit juice and this really gross thing called "ten" or "tan" (I think), and it was a soda made out of kafir, which is like sour buttermilk and everyone here loves it. So basically imagine a spoiled cheese soda. Yeah. I was not a fan. They all tried to convince me that it was an acquired taste. We'll see. So the four of us sat on a wall outside the church eating muffins and juice for dinner, and honestly, it was ne of the best times I've had here. I finally felt like I made some friends. Then we went into the concert which turned out to be improvisational organ music (which should not exist). It was terrible and went on for two hours and Sascha kept whispering to me at the end of every song, "Let this be the end (in Russian)." We kind of laughed about it and then I went home on the metro, getting home at 10:30 at night. I'm going to meet with them again tomorrow morning at the Tretyakov art museum, which has a ton of famous Russian art. I think it's going t be amazing.

Yesterday, we went on an excursion to MosFilm, which is basically like Russian Hollywood. Every old Soviet movie was a mosfilm production and a bunch are still made there today. The studios are located only like 15 minutes from my house (I know this because when I got lost on a bus this one time, we passed it, among other things.) Vika came with us, and this blond tour guide lady showed as first around a museum with all the old cars used in the films, and then to another museum which had all the sets from the films, and another which had all the original costumes from Anna Karenina and War and Peace. It was pretty cool. We went inside this main office building and saw all the wigs and prosthetics used in the movies. We walked past a bunch of "lots" and saw costumed actors walking around, I guess on their way to their respective films. We got to g intoo this one giant room where they were in the process of constructing sets for the next film they were shooting. They made a lot of it out of styrofoam, and then they sculpt it to look like buildings or caves, and there were artists there painting the sets according to sketches they had of the set design. Next we actually got to walk through two different sets on the premises, one of Moscow circa the 19th century and the other of an ancient wooden village that was for some fantasy magic film. It was crazy, the sets looked like actual towns. The old Moscow set had a church and a bar and a fire station, and the old village had wooden bridges and huge (fake) trees and vines everywhere. It was surreal that we were allowed to actually see all of that. ACTR actually came through with a pretty sweet excursion.

After Russian-American club this week, we were all going to go out drinking like we do every Thursday, but somehow Matt, Mikel, Jenna, Jan, and myself got seperated from the group and ended up at Chisty Prudy ("Clean Pond") Metro stop. We made the best of our situation, and went into this outdoor see-through enclosed beer tent right across from the metro that had a bar and a bunch of picnic tables. Matt somehow while trying to order a half liter of beer, ordered 5 half liters of beer, but we just took the other beers, so it wasn' t a big problem. When we were sitting down drinking, Matt proceeded to tell the funniest story I've heard since I've been here. I really hope I can do it justice. It went something like, "So I woke up this morning and I REALLY had to pee. So I went into the bathroom, and totally had my zipper down, when my sweet babyshka (his adorable old tiny host mother) burst into the bathroom with this big contraption with something moving inside and told me she needed to get in there. So I got out, but I was thinking "What the fuck is going on?", but of course I can't express that, so I just said "shto" (what?") and she said "nothing" and went back into the kitchen to get a bucket of water. Finally she left the bathroom and I still really had to pee, so I get in there, and apparently she'd caught a rat with some sort of no-kill trap, but dumped it in the toilet and was trying to flush it and drown it with the extra bucket of water. I looked down and saw his little paws trying to climb out of the toilet. It freaked me out, so I just held it and went back to my room." Only in Russia would a 80 year old woman try to flush a live rat and act like it's nothing. After we had our drinks, Mikel really wanted to go to the McDonald's across the street. All the guys were ordering Big Macs, and I told them I'd never had one before, so they told me I had to get one. So I had my first Big Mac of my life in Moscow.

Last night, I went to the opera with my literature teacher, Grey, Ben, Kat, Jenna, Jen, Rhiannon, Paige, Erika, and Daniel. We went to go see Eugene Onegin, an Pushkin novel made into an opera by Tchaikovsky. I was really excited to get to dress up nicely and the tickets were only $20 for really great balcny seats. The music was beautiful and it helped that I knew the story before hand. Our literature teacher kept saying how beautiful I looked and telling the boys, Doesn't she look beautiful? Which was kind of awkward. The only people I have been hit by in Moscow have been my female teachers at school. Just everything about the opera was beautiful and enjoyable and it was a really well spent $20. The walk home was a different story. On my 15 minute walk home from the metro station to my house (this was about midnight), I was trying to cross the street to get to my house and an older man in a white car stopped his car in the crosswalk (so I couldn't cross to the other side) and rolled down his window and and was shouting things at me like get in the car and asking how much I cost. He thought I was a prostitute, which is really insulting because I looked damn classy. See facebook if you don't believe me. He wouldn't go away even though I kept backing up and saying no, but what he didn't know is that he was blocking traffic by doing this and the car he was blocking was a police car. The police car was honking at him to move and he was ignoring it and I kept giving the two male police officers looks like "help me," so they speed up around the guy's car and blocked him in and proceeded to arrest him. I never thought I'd say this, but thank god for the Russian Police.

So my week has been pretty exciting, and the Volga Cruise this thursday should be all sorts of fun. Miss you guys very very much!!!!

"Does anyone have any questions?" "Yeah. Where are we?"

Hello all!

Pictures are up! I know new facebook is super confusing and terrible, but hopefully you can manage to find my stellar photos. The album is a communal effort with my fellow ACTR Muscovites....they just don't know it yet. And Michelle, if you are reading this, I got your letter! Thank you so much! Again, feel free everyone to write or call. I know it's crazy but paper and pen and old fashioned phone calls still work, people! Internet, schminternet. That's what I say.

So last week I bought myself some much-needed jeans. Because of my ridiculous Russia-induced weightloss (aka walking miles a day and not snacking), two of my three pairs of jeans did not fit anymore, literally falling off while I was walking. Jon Smith told us about this really cheap store around the block from our university where you could buy clothes, so Jen, Kat, Katie, Jenna and I went one day after school to check it out. It was basically a Russian TJ Maxx or Marshall's, but I managed to find two pairs of nice looking jeans, a huge purse to carry my books to school in, and a pair of flats for $120, which is the best deal you will get in Moscow. The jeans are def. Russian, and by that I mean they are very tight and have somewhat tacky embroidery on the back pockets, but when in Russia. However, as I have found out over the past 2 weeks, they are made of a really coarse material and have been bruising the backs of my knees. I'm sure once I wash them (and we're not going to discuss the fact that I haven't washed my pants in two weeks) they won't be so abrasive.

In Film class, we just finished watching a really great movie, Rusalka ("Mermaid"). It's the Russian oscar nomination for best foreign film. Of course, it's crazy depressinng because it's a Russian movie, but it shows a lot of the Moscow sights I've been too, and the color scheme/cinematography is really cool. Go watch it!

So I was all pumped to see cute Russian boy (Sascha) in Russian/American club this week, but when he showed up, he came with a girl. I was pretty bummed, as they sat together and talked with each other during the meeting, so I assumed it was his girlfriend. When I talked, though, he leaned really forward in his seat and stared straight at me, so of course I got a little embarrassed. After the meeting ended, I was telling Julia and Erika (two of my classmates) about Sascha and the presumed girlfriend, and Julia, who is usually very blunt (in a funny way), goes. "Oh, I know they're not dating." I asked her how she coould be so sure, and she replied, "Well, if they were a Russian couple, they'd be basically having sex in front of you, and they didn't even have any physical contact. Plus, you are this foxy, exotic American. You can totally do that (aka move in on Sascha). And by do, I mean both figuratively and literally." So in some bizarre way, Julia encouraged me to keep my hopes up and introduce myself to him next Russian-American club. I think I will.

For our excursion this week, we went to BDNX, which is kind of like a Russian Epcot. It was created under Stalin to showcase all the Soviet achievements, so there is a building dedicated to cosmonaut paraphernalia and old planes and rocketships scattered about the place. There are also pavilions that represent each of the former soviet republics and inside each building is information on that country. The funny, ironic thing is that as we were walking by all these Soviet accomplishments, American music like Chris Brown and Alicia Keys was playing over these loud speakers, so it gave the whole thing an eerie, Soviet disneyworld effect. Next Vika, our Russian tour guide, led us to this massive cotton candy pink mansion. A russian woman with a mouth full of braces took over as our tour guide and led us into the house. Of course, we had no idea what was going on because she was speaking in Russian, and unlike Vika, didn't dumb it down to our level of comprehension. When we go in the house, we had to put these weird slipper things on over our shoes. They had a thick piece of wool on the bottom, which was to protect the original parquet (sp?) wood floors that still existed in the house. It was kind of fun walking in these shoes, because it was more like shuffling/ice skating across the wooden floors of this palacial manor. The rooms were beautiful shades of blue and yellow with ornate ceilings in German and Italian styles. The whole time our Russian guide was telling us about the place, but it may as well have been Chinese. At one point she asked us in Russian if we had any questions, and Matt, one of the boys on my program, whispered to Jackie, "Da. Gde mwee?" which translates to "Yeah. Where are we?" He never asked that question, but it was definitely what we were all thinking. We went into a big theater in the house that had all these old sound-making machines and sets. So what I got from the excursion is that it was a big manor used for performances. I have no idea who's house it was, when it was in use, or even why we were brought there. But I'm kind of used to that feeling by now. After we left the huge house, we went on Russia's one and only monorail. It only makes 5 stops and three of which are at metro stations. You gotta love the pointless things Russia has spent its money on post-communism.

The next day Grey, Jenna, Katie, Allison, and I went to Moscow's famous Cat Theater. As the name would imply, its a theater that features cats as performers. Jon Smith had said it was cool, and we all kind of went as a joke, and to see what all the fuss what about. Well, when we got into the lobby, the whole place smelled of cats, which I don't know if a postive or negative in that circumstance. It turns out "Cat Theater" is actually more like "Circus which minimally features cats and whose target age group is three year olds." We were the only adults in the theater who were not accompanied by a kindergartened, and sitting next to me in two seats were four small children with lollipops that hovered dangerously close to my sweater. The cats really didn't do much except for pop out of baskets and walk tightropes and occasionally get thrown by one of the four clowns onstage. The main MC clown was a 60 year olf man who gave me a real pedophile vibe which apparently comes off as a nurturing grandpa to small Russian children. The final scene before the intermission was the pretend cat mansion burning down and firefighters unable to save the palace before it turned to ashes. Then the MC clown man asked the Russian children who here had matches at home, and of course all the little kids raised their hands, and then he proceeded to tell them nt to play with matches and subsequently burn their apartments down. So we got a little Russian fire safety lesson during Cat Theater. Over all, it was one of the most bizarre and age inappropriate things I've ever done, and I'm really glad four other people came with me.

I've been getting along well with Luidmilla, my host mom, except that really weird things happen all the time at my apartment. Like the other day I came home at 1:00 in the morning after going to a bar, and not only was my host mom up, but there was a little dachshund puppy running around the apartment, barking at me. I also did not see Balton, and my host mom didn't explain the puppy, so for two days I was really convinced that in the 6 hours I had been gone, Balton had died and she'd gotten a replacement puppy. But then the puppy disappeared and Balton was back, so things are back to "normal" I guess. I have no idea who's puppy that was, and I probably never will know. Another day, I went to go get my laundry from off the balcony in my host mom's room, and she was in the middle of the floor doing yoga to a Russian yoga video, contorted into weird poses. I was not aware youga came in Russian. Interesting. Also lately, this young boy, maybe 16 to 18 years old, has been chilling in my host brother's room (but he's not my host brother, as I finally met him). He ate watermelon with us the other night. Don't know who he is, but he says hi to me when he comes in the house. So to recap, of the five people that live in my 3 bedroom house, not including myself, I know one of them, semi-know another one of them, and have no clue who the other two are (Ruslan and the boy).

I'm going to meet my new tutor (a girl) this week, as the boy apparently left Moscow for a month. I'll let you know how it turns out. Love you all!

"If you drink, you will die. If you take a gypsy cab, you will die. Basically if you leave the house, you will die."

Hello all!

I apologize for these posts becoming further and further spread out. I am honestly so incredibly busy with homework and my hour commute to and from school and going to the gym that I hardly even have time to sleep! I've had a couple of questions for you guys regarding contacting me, seeing pictures, etc. Ok, so first things first. In the nicest way possible, I don't know how to explain this any more simply: I DON'T HAVE THE INTERNET. I have to go an hour from home just to use the internet cafe once a week, which costs about 6 dollars to use. So, like a geometry logic proof, I don't have the internet, therefore I do not have: Facebook, email, AIM, skype, etc. The best way to contact me is through letters (which I have given you all my address. If for some reason you don't have it, call my parents or one of our friends.) or by calling me. It's actually very easy to call me, guys. I sent out my phone number to all of you (if you didn't get it, see instructions for getting my address above). There is this website where you can buy phone cards to Russia, it's something "penny boss" (google it). It's something crazy like $20 for 9 hours. That's good enough for the whole year, guys! If you do call me, please do so betwee the hours of 12 and 2 pm your time, because otherwise I am in class or commuting. I do miss you all, but it's better for my learning experience (and my wallet) to only go online once a week. Oh, and for those of you nagging about pictures (aka MOM), I will put up an album every month at the end the month on facebook. So get excited!

Ok, that being said, boy do I have SOOOO much news for you. Let's see...I lost 2 kgs this week, which I think is somewhere around 4 pounds. This is utterly insane because I eat like a trucker and I'm ALWAYS hungry here. Then again, I do probably walk more then 4 hours a day and a work out 4 times a week. Oh, and don't worry, my host mom (or хозйяка) cooks really well and I usually love everything she makes. I've been eating a lot of beet related things (борщ, this weird beet salad), chicken, and a lot of veggies. My хозйяка also made this juice out of these orange berries that grow on the trees here. It is SO good! It kind of tastes like cranberry juice mixed with fruit punch. Oh fun fact, in the grocery store, they don't refridgerate milk. I was a little skeptical, but I've been using it on my self-purchased coco puffs (which I miraculously found in a универсам by my apartment) and haven't gotten sick yet. Speaking of my family, I should probably elaborate a bit on them. Well, I have a host dog, валтон. He/she is a really scrawny collie that's missing a lot of fur and smells a bit, but I really like him/her. Balton sleeps a lot in my room (because usually I'm alone in the apartment) or he/she usually sleeps in the middle of the hallway, which makes it impossible to get to the bathroom or kitchen. Then there is my host brother. Or lack of one, I should say. I was told I would have a 23 year old host brother name Dmitri, but I have only caught a glimpse of him 3 times and never actually met him. He goes to college during the day and supposedly works at night, and I'm not entirely sure he lives with us. So that's fun. Then there is the old man. Up until yesterday I called him this, because I had no idea what his name is and still don't know really why he lives with us. From what I can deduce (with my expert Law and Order-taught detective skills) he is either married to or dating my host mom. He looks about 60ish and my host mom looks 40ish, but I mean, it happens. He apparently lives with us (as there are 4 toothbrushes in the bathroom, 4 hand towels on the rack, and I see him very late at night and very early in the morning). We hadn't really talked much exept when he tried to get me to eat butter when I had a cold (Russian home remedy. Obv. I refused) and when he kept asking me why I didn't eat a lot (which is nuts seeing as how I probably eat my body weight in food everyday). Four days ago he bought an арбуз aka a watermelon for us, so he somewhat bought my affection (Sidenote: In Moscow, they have these giant cages full of watermelons everywhere. I guess people from the South aka Greece, Caucauses, etc. come up to Moscow with trucks of watermelons to sell, and everyday they stand by their cages of watermelons and sell them until they are gone or they freeze, whichever comes first. I will try to get a picture to prove these watermelon cages are real). So anyway, everyone at school loves to hear my stories about my apartment, between my non-existant host brother and mysterious old guy. Well yesterday, I don't know what happened, but old guy say me struggling to cook dinner (aka heat up some leftovers on the stove) and came over and cooked dinner for me and introduced himself. His name is Ruslan (which is crazy cute because my host mom's name is Liudmila, and there is a famous Russian fairy tale about two people in love named Ruslan and Liudmila. Basically it's like having host parents named Romeo and Juliet or Tristan and Isolde). Ruslan asked me about school and my excursions and he's really nice. I think I may never know how he is connected with my host mother, because in Russia it's SUPER taboo to talk about sex and relationships, despite the fact people are regularly heavily making out on the metro escalators, so it would be really awkward for my host mom to tell me she's living with Ruslan but it's married to him (which I'm pretty sure is the case). Whatever, he obviously provides for her and makes her happy, so I could really care less about their living arrangement. Plus he brings home good food every now and then, so really, he can keep buying my affection. I will totally sell my good opinion for some арбуз.

Met my tutor. He's a boy and 25 and smells TERRIBLE (as in a shower is a completely foreign concept). He seemed ok and nice enough, but he just left Moscow for three weeks on business and goes away a lot, so I think I will ask my Resident Director for a new tutor. I really need someone to speak Russian with. Or at least someone to help me buy some winter boots and not get ripped off.

Thursday was Russian-American club, and it was basically the best thing that happened this week. Russian-American club is run kind of by Jon, our RD, and also by Katie (one of my friends in the program, she is SO sweet) and Kyle, two of my classmates. They serve as moderators for our discussions, which take place mostly in english, because the Russians who come know better English than we do Russian. Of course. We discuss topics like gender roles and holidays and customs, the only thing we won't talk about is politics (we wants a dialog, not a debate). This past week we talked about stereotypes of people from different regions (of the US and Russia). All of my classmates came to the meeting after school as well as about 10 Russians. Unfortunately, 3 boys from the California program came as well. There is a group fo students studying at my University from California, and they are the most obnoxious people I have ever met. They speak in English at the university (we speak in Russian frm 9 t0 5) and are SUPER loud and just act like sterotypical Americans - like they own the place and everyone should conform to their needs. You guys know me, it takes a lot for me to really dislike someone, and I literally loathe these kids. It's because of them that the Russians at our school don't like us because they can't differentiate the two groups. Anyway three of them came to the meeting (I'm pretty sure they weren't invited) and they tried to dominate the whole thing. They talked super fast and with a lot of slang, so it was impossible for the poor Russians to understand, and they were blatantly hitting on this one Russian girl in the group and always talking about Santa Barbara and California. Ugh. We even started asking pointed questions about how not to be rude Americans to the Russians, but the Californians didn't get the hint. Anyway, from the discussion I learned that people in Moscow really stereotype people from the countryside and the biggest immigrant population are the Tajik (similar to Mexicans in the US) and they are usually stereotyped. There was this one Russian guy, Sergei, who had done the club last year and was very charismatic and knew English really well and really took charge of the Russian contingent. So about 10 minutes into the meeting I was noticing that none of the Russians at the meeting were really that attractive, but I thought, oh well, at least they don't smell like my tutor, when in came this guy and sat a few seats to my right in the large circle we formed. It was basically like the hallelujah chorus played in my head and I couldn't help but stare at him (all meeting, even though I tried really hard not to). He was tall and had darker skin (hard to explain, he wasn't tan, but wasn't as pure white as Russian skin, if that makes sense) and had light colored eyes. He wasn't just attractive for a Russian, he was attractive for any guy. I have no idea what his name is, but he was wearing a Washington DC sweatshirt and said he studied in the US in high school, so hello, I totally have a talking point when I see him next Thursday...So did you study in DC. Oh, that's nice. I go to school there. Oh, by the way, let's date. (Sidenote: Mom, I know your worst fear is that I get a Russian boyfriend and neevr come home. Don't worry. A) This guy is probably gay or in a relationship or isnt interested and B) I heard he's tajik, so technically he wouldn't be a Russian boyfriend). We all went out to a bar after Russian American club, but of course cute guy didn't come, so I will have to wait until next Thursday to see what happens.

During Russian American club, Kyle asked us what some of our expectations were for Russia after our horrendous orientation, which scared the crap out of all of us. So I was raising my hand for a while and the California kids kept talking, so finally Sergei looked over at me and said "Excuse me, but this charming young lady has wanted to say something for a while. Let's let her talk" Everyone laughed and I was kind of embarrassed, but I think Sergei is just superfriendly like that. So I told everyone how I go to school in DC and I'm used to a big city, but after the orientation, it came across like "If you drink, you will die. If you take a gypsy cab, you will die. Basically, if you leave your apartment, you will die." Everyone found this funny and I said that Moscow didn't seem so bad to me and then Sergei asked how long I had beem here and I replied 2 weeks. Then he asked how long I was staying and I said until May, and he replied jokingly "Well, you will have plenty of opportunities to die by then." And everyone laughed again. And all night at the bar, Sergei kept teasing me about this and when I went to leave, he noticed I wasn't drunk and he said "You can't go onto the subway at 10 o'clock not drunk. You can't. It's a russian law. You will die." I think I'm going to keep getting crap from him next week, but he's only teasing. This Russian guy in the club from Siberia, Alexander, really took a liking to Katie and talked to her all night at the bar and walked her home, so I think someone has a new admirer.

This weekend for our excursions, I skipped the Friday trip to the state Library (named after Lenin) because it looked like it would be boring (and proved to be, or so I heard). On Saturday, we took a bus tour of Moscow, and by tour I mean Jon, our RD telling a regular bus driver where to go and Jon telling us about stuff as we passed. It was actually really helpful because you don't know the layout of the city if you are always underground on the metro. Oh, I forgot, that morning we went and saw Lenin's mausoleum. It was SO creepy and reminded me of the Bodies exhibit in the states. Lenin is like glowing in a really dark room with two Russian police officers staring at you. It was like going to a really creepy funeral underground. Anyway, after the bus tour, Katie, Jackie (from Staten Island, goes to BU), and Carlos (from Barbados) and I walked around to Patriarch's pond, which apparently is described in the opening scene of Master and Margarita. It was really pretty and had a lot of swans. Carlos was freaking out when we walked the perimeter because he can't swim, despite the fact the pond is maybe 2 feets. Then we went to the house museum of Chekov (for only $1.50) and saw that. It was pretty cool. It was half exhibit and half reconstruction of the house as it looked when he lived there. I really need to read more Russian literature, as I have only read Anna Karenina. Then Jackie, Katie, and I went to a free showing of a Russian film at this film festival. It was an adaptation of a Solsitenitzen (spelling?) book and was super confusing because A) We don't understand Russian and B) they only showed us like 2 of the 4 parts of the movie and there was a really sad part where everyone in the theater was crying but we didn't know what was going on, so I'm sure we just looked really insensitive. Katie and I fell asleep a couple of times, but at least we tried. I understood a tiny bit, and we made an effort. Plus it was free. And that makes it like a million times better.

Today we went on a truly pointless two hour walking tour of Moscow, seeing a couple of monuments, but mainly just freezing as we speed (sped?)-walked in a ring around Moscow. I have school tomorrow, REALLY need to do my homework. Also need to buy new jeans as mine no longer even stay on (the whole -2 kgs, I guess). Ok, I'll try to write sooner next time. Call me, write me! Love you all!

-Me.

"But Why Isn't Anyone Falling Down?"

Hello all!

I'm going to try to blog once a week, but again, with crazy limited internet access, it's rough. It was unseasonally cold here earlier this week, but for the past few days it's been a sauna - 80 degrees and no where (especially the crowded metro) has air conditioning. It's so gross. Oh, speaking of the metro, my commute to school everyday is an hour. An hour. How nuts is that? And not even driving. I walk 15 minutes from my apartment to my metro stop, then ride the metro 15 minutes, walk 5 minutes to the connecting metro, ride the metro again for 10 minutes, and then walk another 15 minutes from the mtro stop to school. And I do that twice a day. So think about that before you bitch about how far it is to walk to class at Georgetown. Class starts at 9:00 everyday, so I wake up at 6:00, take a shower, and am out of the house by 7:45. And I can't skip breakfast because I need fuel for all that walking! I eat a lot here, but I don't think I'm gaining any weight.

My classes are all super cool. They are all in Russian (of course). I take a grammar class, a history of russian music class (the professor plays the piano for us a lot), a russian film class, a political economony class, a geograpphy class, a phonetics class, a literature class, a "smee" class, which is a russian abbreviation for a news-related class, and a conversation class. The school day ends for me at 2:50 (with an hour for lunch). Classes are either 50 minutes or an hour and 50 minutes, with a "perorif" (break) in the middle. My group of 25 kids on the program was broken up in to 5 smaller class groups, so I only go to the majority of my classes with 4 other people. We have a lecture in the morning where we see everyone, but then we split up. My small class has a great group dynamic and we get a lot done. I totally suck in phonetics class, but I'm sure if I practice more, the teacher will stop picking on me.

The university I go to, Moscow International University is kind of strange because it's a smaller college and apparently the Russians that go there are the "new Russians" aka children of post-communist oligarchs. Because of this, they are all super snobby and really loud and basically hate us for being at their school. They openly laugh at us, and whenever we leave the building to go get lunch, they all stare at us through their clouds of cigarette smoke with condescension. Basically I'm super tough now, and very little phases me, seeing as how I'm laughed at everyday by people I don't even know. Tonight we are meeting our Russian peer tutors, so I hope at least they are nice. I have yet to make any Russian friends, and really really want to!

This weekend, we went on two "excursiya" - one was a cruise of the Moscow River and the other was to a battle reenactment at Borodino, which apparently is famous from the war of 1812 (yeah, I really don't know). The Moscow River cruise was nice, and it was a sunny day out, so we all go to see the sights and get tans. The Borodino trip, on the other hand, was one of those experiences you can only say "well, I did that." First of all, we had to meet at a train station at 7:45 am on a Sunday. Of course, this train station was an hour from my house, so I had to be up and walking by 6:45 am. Once at the train station, we boarded "electreechka," basically super ghetto trains that resemble cattle cars (both in furnishing, crowdedness, and ventilation), and rode it 2 hours to Borodino, which is in the Russian countryside. There were a ton of people selling stuff on the train, from "packyetie" (bags you carry everything around in in Russia) to ice cream to children's books. Once we got to Borodino, a bunch of us had to go to the Bathroom (note: there are pretty much no bathrooms in Russia, except in restaurants and apartments. if you do find a bathroom, it will never have toilet paper. Everyone in moscow carries tissues with them at all times, and not for their noses). So we waited 20 minutes for the bathroom, and had to go in the men's room, with our resident director guarding the door. The "toilet" was only a hole cut out of the cement floor. The smell was so bad, it was almost noxious. So yeah, I survived that. Then we had to walk from the train station to the actual battle site. That was an hour walk, in the blazing sun on a dirt road, but it was fun seeing all the babushkee on the side of the road selling berries or corn or meat they cooked, out of a bucket. Once we got to the site, there were people EVERYWHERE. Russian rednecks abound (because who else goes to battle reenactments?). I bought a mini pizza for lunch, but like everything else in Russia, what they say a food item is and what it actually turns out to be are two very different things. My "pizza" was cold, had salami on it, and just for shits and giggles I suppose, had pickles hidden in the middle. After lunch, I watched the battle with Jen (from Georgetown) and Allison. To get through security, the policeman waved a metal detector at me and it went off. Then he asked me "do you have a knife" and I said no, and her let me through. The police here don't ever do their job, unless it's to arrest drunken foreigners. We sat down on the hill facing the battlefield, with Belorussian soldiers next to us, who couldn't have been more then 16 years old, and the cutest little Russian boy (maybe 4 years old) with his babushka in front of us. The little boy had a toy semi-automatic (again, only in Russia) and kept aiming it at people and the battle, saying things like "Ploheya Franszuckue" (Bad French people, because Borodino was where the Russians defeated the french). The battle was pretty cool, but very confusing. We didn't know which side was which, the kids behind us kept saying "Napolean!" but we couldn't see him, and no one was dying. Seriously, in battle reinactments, aren't people supposed to fall down to indicate they've been shot? Well, no one apparently died in this battle, they just kept circling each other on horses.We decided to leave early to catch at 3:45 electrichka back. We walked an hour back to the station and the train ride back was basically hell in mass transit form. There were only about 5 windows open, maybe 60+ people in one car, standing room only, for 2 hours, and every stop more and more people got on the train. We finally got back around 6:00 pm., dirty and covered with sweat. To recap, total travel time: 8 hours. Actual time at Borodino: 3 hours (max). Like everything else in Russia, it was ridiculous.

I am having a great time here. Living in Russia is like nothing you've every experienced before. Even down to the smallest habit or gesture is different, and people will notice if you don't do it "the russian way." Also of note: There are no garbage cans in Russia, they never have small bills, and if you have big bills (500 rubles or more aka 25 dollars +) it's impossible to break it. People will actually get pissed at you and tell you to put everything back if they don't have change for you. That's just the way it works. Every Russian woman wears high heels 24/7, despite the fact they walk literally miles a day. Every Moscow woman weighs approx. 100 pounds and wears pants that have to be painted on. And the list goes on and on....

Well, love you all! Until next time...

-Me.

"It's like we're meeting our Prom Dates..."

Hey all!

It's been a crazy couple of days. Our first real day in Russia, Saturday, we explored the city and bought my metro card (which was pretty difficult) and I quickly learned how to use the Metro. It's actually really easy, as there are signs everywhere. I also bought my lunch from a kiosk (street food vender) and he knew my friends and I didn't speak Russian, so he tried to practice his English on us by saying "Hey baby" to the girl behind me, as some sort of "normal" Amerian greeting. Russians watch way too many American movies. Then we went out to dinner at an Italian place (very sub-par, but hey, it's Russia), with Alumni of the program and Russians who know English. The people at my table talked with Mascha, who goes to Moscow State University, which is by where I live. She ended up showing 8 of us all around Moscow - Red Square, The Kremlin, all these awesome fountains, GUM (this awesome shopping mall) and all these cool streets and concerts under bridges. We got back at 10:30 pm and were exhausted from walking the city. Sunday we had all day to do whatever until we met our host families at 7:00 pm. I went with three other girls, Paige, Rhiannon, and Erika from Bucknell University, to buy notebooks for class and flowers for our host mothers and I needed a cell phone. It's so difficult to speak to Russian vendors, but I'm trying to have courage. I bought the cell phone all by myself AND I bought extra minutes. Then we all (25 of us) checked out of the student dorm we'd been living in and waited by the elevators with out gifts and flowers to meet our families. We were all nervous and shaking, and Mikel, my friend from Grinnell goes "This is like we're meeting our Prom Dates." It was so true. FinallyJon Smith, the resident director, called my name, and I met my host mom, Liudmila Alexeevna. She's SO tiny!!! She's maybe 4 foot 11 (she only comes up to my shoulder) and she must be only 80 pounds. She has died blond hair and green eyes and is probably 40. She doesn't talk much, and when she does, I usually can't understand her, but I get the important parts, I think. She has a 23 year old son, Dmitri, who I briefly met this morning, because he came home so late last night, I was asleep by then. Ok, gotta run, my intenet minutes are flashing red. Oh, but I made my first phone call today in Russian (scary!) to tell my host mom I was going to the Internet cafe, and also tomorrow is my first day of classes and we can only speak Russian on the premises. Fun times are ahead... Love you guys! -Me.

So I forgot I About The Small Fact That I Basically Don't Know Russian...

You know what's awesome? Trying to figure out how to log-in to an internet cafe when everything on the screen is written in Russian. Also fun activities include trying to get dinner at a buffet where you have to tell them what you want, or even just navigating Moscow after an 8 hour and then 3 hour flight, followed up by an hour bus-ride in the most Borat-esque contraption I've ever personally witnessed in my life. There was a huge empty bottle of alcohol rolling around in the luggage storage area, for Christ's sake. Anyway, I guess what I am trying to say is that I made it safely to Moscow and with all my luggage (the majority of my group was not so lucky). I basically have become a deaf-mute because my Russian is so appallingly bad that any attempt at communication results in them trying to speak English to me. But it's only the first day. Ok, gotta run. I only bought 10 minutes from the cafe. Love you all! Update soon-ish.

-Me.

These New-Fangled Contraptions...

Hello All!

Upon the urging of my wonderful friend, Grace Erdmann, I've decided to set up a blog for communicating with you all during my year in Russia. I'll be living in an apartment with a host family (most likely a 70-year-old babushka and her multiple cats), so the internet probably won't be readily available in my home. I'll be using a lot of internet cafes, and to preserve my money and my safety (have you seen the creepers that frequent those places in Europe? Scary), I'll be writing blogs instead of sending out mass emails, thus avoiding crowding everyone's microscopic Georgetown email accounts. I'll do my best to tell you everything exciting as it happens, hopefully with some semblance of wit and/or grammatical correctness. Also this blog will let you know I'm still alive and herpes-free. So, you know, basically a win-win for everyone. If you want to respond to a particular blog, feel free to leave a comment, or if you're feeling a little more verbose, send me an email! I want to hear from you guys, too!

Ok, so save this to your favorites, write yourself a post-it note, tattoo this onto your arm. I don't care. Just read early and often.

C любовью (with love),
Me.