"Does anyone have any questions?" "Yeah. Where are we?"

Hello all!

Pictures are up! I know new facebook is super confusing and terrible, but hopefully you can manage to find my stellar photos. The album is a communal effort with my fellow ACTR Muscovites....they just don't know it yet. And Michelle, if you are reading this, I got your letter! Thank you so much! Again, feel free everyone to write or call. I know it's crazy but paper and pen and old fashioned phone calls still work, people! Internet, schminternet. That's what I say.

So last week I bought myself some much-needed jeans. Because of my ridiculous Russia-induced weightloss (aka walking miles a day and not snacking), two of my three pairs of jeans did not fit anymore, literally falling off while I was walking. Jon Smith told us about this really cheap store around the block from our university where you could buy clothes, so Jen, Kat, Katie, Jenna and I went one day after school to check it out. It was basically a Russian TJ Maxx or Marshall's, but I managed to find two pairs of nice looking jeans, a huge purse to carry my books to school in, and a pair of flats for $120, which is the best deal you will get in Moscow. The jeans are def. Russian, and by that I mean they are very tight and have somewhat tacky embroidery on the back pockets, but when in Russia. However, as I have found out over the past 2 weeks, they are made of a really coarse material and have been bruising the backs of my knees. I'm sure once I wash them (and we're not going to discuss the fact that I haven't washed my pants in two weeks) they won't be so abrasive.

In Film class, we just finished watching a really great movie, Rusalka ("Mermaid"). It's the Russian oscar nomination for best foreign film. Of course, it's crazy depressinng because it's a Russian movie, but it shows a lot of the Moscow sights I've been too, and the color scheme/cinematography is really cool. Go watch it!

So I was all pumped to see cute Russian boy (Sascha) in Russian/American club this week, but when he showed up, he came with a girl. I was pretty bummed, as they sat together and talked with each other during the meeting, so I assumed it was his girlfriend. When I talked, though, he leaned really forward in his seat and stared straight at me, so of course I got a little embarrassed. After the meeting ended, I was telling Julia and Erika (two of my classmates) about Sascha and the presumed girlfriend, and Julia, who is usually very blunt (in a funny way), goes. "Oh, I know they're not dating." I asked her how she coould be so sure, and she replied, "Well, if they were a Russian couple, they'd be basically having sex in front of you, and they didn't even have any physical contact. Plus, you are this foxy, exotic American. You can totally do that (aka move in on Sascha). And by do, I mean both figuratively and literally." So in some bizarre way, Julia encouraged me to keep my hopes up and introduce myself to him next Russian-American club. I think I will.

For our excursion this week, we went to BDNX, which is kind of like a Russian Epcot. It was created under Stalin to showcase all the Soviet achievements, so there is a building dedicated to cosmonaut paraphernalia and old planes and rocketships scattered about the place. There are also pavilions that represent each of the former soviet republics and inside each building is information on that country. The funny, ironic thing is that as we were walking by all these Soviet accomplishments, American music like Chris Brown and Alicia Keys was playing over these loud speakers, so it gave the whole thing an eerie, Soviet disneyworld effect. Next Vika, our Russian tour guide, led us to this massive cotton candy pink mansion. A russian woman with a mouth full of braces took over as our tour guide and led us into the house. Of course, we had no idea what was going on because she was speaking in Russian, and unlike Vika, didn't dumb it down to our level of comprehension. When we go in the house, we had to put these weird slipper things on over our shoes. They had a thick piece of wool on the bottom, which was to protect the original parquet (sp?) wood floors that still existed in the house. It was kind of fun walking in these shoes, because it was more like shuffling/ice skating across the wooden floors of this palacial manor. The rooms were beautiful shades of blue and yellow with ornate ceilings in German and Italian styles. The whole time our Russian guide was telling us about the place, but it may as well have been Chinese. At one point she asked us in Russian if we had any questions, and Matt, one of the boys on my program, whispered to Jackie, "Da. Gde mwee?" which translates to "Yeah. Where are we?" He never asked that question, but it was definitely what we were all thinking. We went into a big theater in the house that had all these old sound-making machines and sets. So what I got from the excursion is that it was a big manor used for performances. I have no idea who's house it was, when it was in use, or even why we were brought there. But I'm kind of used to that feeling by now. After we left the huge house, we went on Russia's one and only monorail. It only makes 5 stops and three of which are at metro stations. You gotta love the pointless things Russia has spent its money on post-communism.

The next day Grey, Jenna, Katie, Allison, and I went to Moscow's famous Cat Theater. As the name would imply, its a theater that features cats as performers. Jon Smith had said it was cool, and we all kind of went as a joke, and to see what all the fuss what about. Well, when we got into the lobby, the whole place smelled of cats, which I don't know if a postive or negative in that circumstance. It turns out "Cat Theater" is actually more like "Circus which minimally features cats and whose target age group is three year olds." We were the only adults in the theater who were not accompanied by a kindergartened, and sitting next to me in two seats were four small children with lollipops that hovered dangerously close to my sweater. The cats really didn't do much except for pop out of baskets and walk tightropes and occasionally get thrown by one of the four clowns onstage. The main MC clown was a 60 year olf man who gave me a real pedophile vibe which apparently comes off as a nurturing grandpa to small Russian children. The final scene before the intermission was the pretend cat mansion burning down and firefighters unable to save the palace before it turned to ashes. Then the MC clown man asked the Russian children who here had matches at home, and of course all the little kids raised their hands, and then he proceeded to tell them nt to play with matches and subsequently burn their apartments down. So we got a little Russian fire safety lesson during Cat Theater. Over all, it was one of the most bizarre and age inappropriate things I've ever done, and I'm really glad four other people came with me.

I've been getting along well with Luidmilla, my host mom, except that really weird things happen all the time at my apartment. Like the other day I came home at 1:00 in the morning after going to a bar, and not only was my host mom up, but there was a little dachshund puppy running around the apartment, barking at me. I also did not see Balton, and my host mom didn't explain the puppy, so for two days I was really convinced that in the 6 hours I had been gone, Balton had died and she'd gotten a replacement puppy. But then the puppy disappeared and Balton was back, so things are back to "normal" I guess. I have no idea who's puppy that was, and I probably never will know. Another day, I went to go get my laundry from off the balcony in my host mom's room, and she was in the middle of the floor doing yoga to a Russian yoga video, contorted into weird poses. I was not aware youga came in Russian. Interesting. Also lately, this young boy, maybe 16 to 18 years old, has been chilling in my host brother's room (but he's not my host brother, as I finally met him). He ate watermelon with us the other night. Don't know who he is, but he says hi to me when he comes in the house. So to recap, of the five people that live in my 3 bedroom house, not including myself, I know one of them, semi-know another one of them, and have no clue who the other two are (Ruslan and the boy).

I'm going to meet my new tutor (a girl) this week, as the boy apparently left Moscow for a month. I'll let you know how it turns out. Love you all!